WordWorship

It is at least thousand times a day I think about all the things we could have done differently. All around me, I see things or measures we didn't take, the small little measures that could have made a difference. Maybe, if I had talked like this or you ad handled it like that, the outcome would ave been something else altogether. But I know it is pointless. The water's under the bridge now. However, it is still a storm for me. A storm that threatens to whirl up my world and tear my life apart. I wait for the storm to subside and, if not subside, at least, weaken in its intensity. There are times of complete lucidity with everything fine. At times, whole days pass like that. But then it all comes hurtling down and I realise that it has gone silent but was gaining in power. There are so many things that could have happened, many more that should have happened. And I know that thinking cant change anything. It will only end up giving me more regrets like such a small thing ...

And today, I once again told myself - it's gonna be ok. Someday, sometime, it will - maybe it's time to give time some time and test how good a healer it is. This is precisely the reason why I decided to stop using words like soon, tomorrow, etc etc etc. Because in this case, tomorrow will come. And by the looks of it, it will be as miserable and as hopeless as today was. So why put an expectation on it?  I know i know I know. there are many out there who would say that I am being cynical and, in some weird way, am putting an expectation on tomorrow - albeit of a different kind. The kind in which it will be bad and hopeless and miserable. But I think am just being realistic. Don't they say that Rome wasn't built in a day? This too is like that. To have a better, less painful day tomorrow, at least something from today should have gone into it. If today the pain was 100, tomorrow I can expect it to be 99. But what if today also, it has an infinite value? What is infi...