WordWorship

6 years... 6 years is the time lesser mortals like us had to wait for another offering by the great called Khaled Hosseini. Many books came and went in this time. Yet, there were few which rose up to the standards set by the amazingly beautiful, profound and touching A Thousand Splendid Suns . While there might be no specific line or quote I can recall from that book but each and every incidence in that book is so well etched in my mind that few of those still send a chill down my spine.

They say - Out of sight, out of mind. Wisdom like that is supposed to be applicable pan everything. Then why does it not work with me? Why is what out of sight not out of mind?  Or maybe I should rephrase it - it's not the type of pain that fades away, it's the type of pain that one learns to live with. Is that what you are now? You have truly come a long way - from my most beautiful dream to my worst nightmare. As I sit here, I try and think about the road that lead to this. Where did our paths fork and they became yours and mine?

Remember tonight.... for it's the beginning of forever.....                                                                                   ----------- Dante 

"In the first place, his startling likeness to Catherine connected him fearfully with her - That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination, is actually the least - for what is not connected with her to me? and what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags! In every cloud, in every tree - filling the air at night, caught by glimpses in every object, by day I am surrounded with her image! The most ordinary faces of men, and women - my own features - mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her!"                                                                         ...

It hurts more to be replaced than rejected.

It is at least thousand times a day I think about all the things we could have done differently. All around me, I see things or measures we didn't take, the small little measures that could have made a difference. Maybe, if I had talked like this or you ad handled it like that, the outcome would ave been something else altogether. But I know it is pointless. The water's under the bridge now. However, it is still a storm for me. A storm that threatens to whirl up my world and tear my life apart. I wait for the storm to subside and, if not subside, at least, weaken in its intensity. There are times of complete lucidity with everything fine. At times, whole days pass like that. But then it all comes hurtling down and I realise that it has gone silent but was gaining in power. There are so many things that could have happened, many more that should have happened. And I know that thinking cant change anything. It will only end up giving me more regrets like such a small thing ...

And today, I once again told myself - it's gonna be ok. Someday, sometime, it will - maybe it's time to give time some time and test how good a healer it is. This is precisely the reason why I decided to stop using words like soon, tomorrow, etc etc etc. Because in this case, tomorrow will come. And by the looks of it, it will be as miserable and as hopeless as today was. So why put an expectation on it?  I know i know I know. there are many out there who would say that I am being cynical and, in some weird way, am putting an expectation on tomorrow - albeit of a different kind. The kind in which it will be bad and hopeless and miserable. But I think am just being realistic. Don't they say that Rome wasn't built in a day? This too is like that. To have a better, less painful day tomorrow, at least something from today should have gone into it. If today the pain was 100, tomorrow I can expect it to be 99. But what if today also, it has an infinite value? What is infi...